Guess what I’m pregnant. If you’ve seen me you’d know it. if you haven’t you wouldn’t cause we just announced it this week. I know most people announce just as soon as they pee on a stick but being an older mama I’m a little hesitant.
I know I know I should relax but seriously there’s so many things that can go wrong. The whole childbirth thing is 100% a miracle there’s no other way around it.
And I may have had an experience with it not turning out like I had planned. our first positive test we jumped the gun a bit. we were super excited our first baby and a week after taking the test we told my family. Which means they had to go through the trauma with us when I miscarried. my mother’s response was don’t put us through that again. I felt the same way but it was kinda nice not to have to suffer in silence. instead we shared the burden of the loss. And the next time we waited longer…but were still excited so we shared early again and guess what this one worked out.
But it’s still made me a little skittish about the whole public announcement thing. plus being an older momma I have a lot of friends who have struggled with infertility and so I try to not over post about my miraculous pregnancy, because I know that it’s not something I’m doing right to get pregnant it just happens for me thankfully because as i watched my internal clock tick on by my fear of infertility grew and grew.
Now that I know I can have kids there are other fears. Honestly, there’s no other way to describe birth but a miracle, I’m not talking about a nonreligious expression of the word miracle but a 100% act of God type miracle. I feel that way about any birth human or animal. You take two cells mix them together and the next thing you know there’s a moving, breathing, thinking creature who emerges from the body of another creature. Yes I know it sounds like a sci-fi horror movie. And if you’ve seen a birth you’ll still feel that way, but you’d also see what a miracle it is. One of the greatest and scariest experiences of my life.